Rapport is two individuals who see eye to eye, who have trust in each other and who are both willing partners in the relationship.  The ultimate connection if you like.

  As horse owners so often we get all caught up in the ownership of the horse; we buy the horse thinking that that makes him ‘ours’, we take really good care of him…..feeding him, brushing him, perhaps rugging him and providing him with shelter etc and then when it comes to handling and riding him, we subconsciously expect him to just do as we wish and be nice to us because we have been nice to him.  Unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way.  We might be providing him with what ‘we’ think he needs, however, how many of us truly take the time to consider what ‘he’ really needs.

  If we want to catch him, we just go get him without pausing to see how he feels about it.  Then we are baffled to find out that maybe he doesn’t want to be caught.  We want to ride, so we just saddle him up and get on; again for many people, without even considering how he feels about it.  We want him to jump the jump, cross the ditch, leave his friends behind and we are surprised and a little annoyed when he shows some resistance to doing as we ask.  After all, we bought him that nice new rug to keep him warm and got the really juicy crunchy carrots he likes.  He should do what we want!

  As much as horses like juicy carrots, they really do not care too much about whether they get them or not if they do not have a few basic needs of their own filled first.  For horses, their number one priority is to feel safe.  Being a prey animal this is an absolute must.  Until they feel safe with and around you, nothing else matters, no matter how ‘nice’ you think you’ve been to them, this will count for nothing if he feels insecure.   If you take the time to build the kind of relationship he really needs, gain rapport with your horse, he will relax with you, give you the benefit of the doubt and trust you…..even if he feels like you are asking a lot of him, he’ll still try for you.  We’ve all experienced the huge amount of heart and desire horses can have for a human……imagine if you had that kind of relationship with your horse ALL the time!

 If you do not have rapport in your relationship, chances are that you will find some resistances in your horse.  He may be hard to catch, or lead, or to pick up his feet.  He’ll be more prone to kick out if you are around his back end, or not want to go onto the horse float.  If your horse truly saw you as his great leader and friend, would he ever try to bite you or buck you off.  On the contrary, when riding, if he feels you get a little unstuck, he’s more likely to duck back underneath you to keep you on.  Can you imagine what it would be like to have that kind of relationship with your horse; one where he was an equal and willing partner in it and really enjoyed his time with you.  Where he tried to help you out rather than help you off!

  Take the time to build rapport with your horse, in all things ask him first how he feels about it.  It will pay off enormously if you do.

Building Rapport Part 2 - Why do we need rapport?

Being a ‘flight response’ prey animal - that is one who relies on being able to outrun his natural enemies for survival - under pressure a horse will choose fight or flight; to stand and defend himself or to run away.  Safety is always the number one priority of the horse.  Whether they get injured or not in the process is irrelevant, the important thing is to escape.  Once he knows he is safe, his next priority is comfort.    A horse will go out of his way to find the path of least resistance, to find comfort.  Even if he feels pressure, his instincts tell him to push through it (either fight or flight) in order to find release (comfort).  His third priority after safety and comfort is to play.  Only when he has the first two things, safety and comfort, will he seek the third…..play.

  So how does rapport fit into this?  Mostly it’s the horse’s first priority we are dealing with here.  If you look at float loading as an example you’ll see evidence of this.  Horses are creatures of patterns, they learn where comfort is and they will seek it.  They only need to find it once and for the briefest of moments for a pattern or habit to form.  If I ask my horse to go onto the float and I do not have rapport, chances are he will feel unsafe.  Going into a horse float can be a very scary thing for a horse…….prey animals do not often willingly go into small dark caves that may house predators!  If he feels unsafe and doesn’t trust me he will not be concerned with comfort, only safety, so he will probably choose either the flight or fight mode in an attempt to find safety…..and he will not care too much what he has to do, or who he has to take out to get there.  Your bag of carrots mean very little to him right now. 

  If, however, you do have a relationship built on rapport, if he does trust you, chances are he will seek comfort even if he feels a little uncertain about the situation.  Even if the small dark cave looks a little scary, if you let him know that comfort can be found inside it, chances are he will try for you and go seeking it.  In that moment, just when he is trying for you, your response is crucial.  If you are patient, let him know that his needs are more important than what you want, there is a good chance you’ll get what you want anyway.  That he will try to go on the float.  If, however, you get impatient, think that your wants out way his needs and you start trying to make him go on, that thin thread of rapport will be broken….he’ll stop trying for you and start trying to survive again.  The choice is yours.

  Although creating and building rapport means considering your horses point of view, it does not mean being a wuss either.  What it does mean is trying to understand how your horse feels about things, how he perceives it.  It means becoming an excellent reader of horses, being able to understand them and becoming a great leader for them.  If he is feeling a little scared or confused, he doesn’t need you to molly-coddle him.  Doing so is just as bad for him as being a bully.  He needs you to step up and take charge, be fair, be reasonable and be confident, to stay focused and keep about your business.  So often when a horse get scared, the human response is to reassure him and sooth him. Have you ever seen the little child who falls over and scrapes his knee?  His response will often reflect that of the adults around him….if he gets soothed and cuddled, he learns to be cry and be fearful.  If instead he finds a ‘get up and get on with it’ attitude, he’ll do just that.

  We’ve looked at float-loading as an example, however the same is true of pretty much any situation with a horse.  Whether it be catching, trimming hooves, executing one-time flying lead changes or having a clear round of jumps, the principle is just the same.  Yes, by all means you want to get done what you want done, however just take the time to consider things from your horse’s point of view.  Set him up to where he chooses to seek comfort and try for you, not to where he feels the need to survive and is fearful.  As horse lovers, I’m sure we all agree that our horse’s happiness and mental well-being are important factors in our relationship, let alone our success.

This article is part of a series of horsemanship educational articles written by Meredith Ransley for Quantum Savvy